The Joys of The Quirky Family

Here is the essay I wrote for my Composition class.

The Joys Of The Quirky Family
Every family has secrets and undesirable aspects. If you dig deep enough, you will find someone who has problems with the law, someone who drinks too much, someone who feels unloved, and the town looney. Of course, in some families we need only scratch the surface. These embarrassing members of our family can be dealt with in one of two ways. We can ignore them and lock them in the closet of our mind, pretending they do not exist, or we can enjoy the fact that we are just as screwed up as every other family and, therefore, normal. Some people attempt to hide from the public that their family is less than perfect, but we should be proud and embrace the undesirable and quirky attributes of our family. Doing this will help us be successful.
If we take time to get to know and accept these distinct members of our family, it will help us to better understand and relate to the world we live in. Instead of just writing these people off, we need to find answers to such questions as: “What makes them this way?” and “Why do they act differently than I believe they should?” We already know some of their background because we share ancestors and family memories. This gives us a starting point for talking to them and realizing just who they really are. It is quite possible that the one reason we are upset by these people is that they have the ability to do what we can not. They do not hold the secrets of who they are as tightly as we do. In the poem “Aunt Ida Pieces a Quilt” written by Melvin Dixon, Aunt Ida is having trouble understanding why her nephew would not hide his unique sexual preference. He would “[switch] down the street” and “let the world know all [his] business” (132). The poem also implies that Ida may have had a past she is ashamed that she symbolizes inside her quilts. She eventually comes to appreciate his boldness. She enjoys his giggles as he shares in her secret.
Understanding our relatives helps us to have compassion for others. We sometimes have to interact with these family members that we do not socially agree with because they are at every holiday, birthday, and funeral. With these situations comes an almost forced persistence to get along. Hopefully we learn how to deal with each other and start to enjoy each other’s uniqueness. We can then use this newfound comfort level to feel relaxed when meeting new people. We will learn to relate easier with many different types of people in the world.
Knowing that our relatives share bloodlines with us can be very humbling. It would be harder to feel superior to someone who does not share your value system if you comprehended that your family bloodline was able to produce the same thing. Learning to appreciate your family members helps you to learn who you are or could be. This helps us to realize that all families are virtually alike and that we should not judge ourselves on what others think of us.
Parents who are worried about what society perceives of them tend to punish or be disappointed in children when the parent believes the child has revealed to others what the parent is trying to keep hidden. We see this in Gary Soto’s short story “Looking for Work”. Here a mother spanks her child for asking if he could do odd jobs in their neighborhood to earn money. Gary reflects on the moment with his friend. “Little John asked what I was doing, and I told him that I was taking a break from work, as I sat comfortably among high weeds. He wanted to join me, but I reminded him that the last time he’d gone door-to-door asking for work his mother had whipped him” (28). The mother is upset that the neighbors may think that her family is poor and not as good as they are. She spanks her son for revealing the family secret of not having much money. These actions teach children that they need to be embarrassed with who they are. This in turn, trains them to judge themselves against other people’s opinions, and it lowers their self esteem. The mother in the story wants her family to be in a higher social class, but what she is teaching her child might actually stunt his success in life.
If we do not fear the possible ridicule of society, we will be more successful in life. Without the fear of failing in front of others, we have the confidence to learn new activities that we might otherwise avoid because of their level of difficulty. We are able to step out of our comfort zone and start enjoying life. By trying new things, we expand our future. We are not destined to be where we have always been, doing what we have always done. “The Lottery” by Shirley Jackson involves a woman named Tessie Hutchinson, who stands up for herself even though she knows she will be met by certain opposition. The whole town blindly follows the steps to expose people’s “faults”. The man in charge of the lottery enjoys asking questions in which everyone knows the answers, just to hear the person admit to things for which town pities them. Tessie stands up against the whole town by telling everyone that the lottery isn’t right. She does what the others are afraid to do. She lets herself be who she is, despite the attack of society. Even though she goes through Hell to get to a better future, she experiences a future without worry and without false friends. Because she has done what she has not always done, she is now where she has not always been.
Having family members who are difficult to spend time with does not have to be the end of the world. We can and should take the time to relate to our relatives, so that we can better understand them, our family and ourselves. This will help us know where we came from and where we are going in life. Once we accomplish this we can have more compassion for others than we did before. We do not need to hide who we are from society. Even if others do perceive us in ways that try to tear us down, we can hold our heads up high and know that we tried and are more successful than when we started. We need to be proud and embrace our quirky family, because it is normal, and you might find a friend you never thought you would have.